INTEGRITY

10-Step To Find Success Without Losing Integrity

Everyone wants to be successful in life, but success can come at a cost. We all know people who’ve turned into jerks through becoming successful. They forget their old friends and  become arrogant. The danger of success is that we can lose our integrity.

But first - How to find success?

The following tips will help you on your journey toward success, use them for inspiration and guidance when you feel like giving up.

Step 1: Define YOUR success

Do you sometimes feel frustrated and disheartened because you are not reaching the success you yearn for? If so, check out whether you are using other people’s measure of success, instead of creating your own. For some people success may mean creating a big business,for others raising their children well may be the epitome of success. For someone who’s had an accident, being able feed themselves again may be a huge success. It all depends on your circumstances.

What about you? What is the meaning of success for you?

It’s important to honor whatever success may mean for you,and it doesn’t matter whether the success you wish for is ‘big’ or ‘small’ in the eyes of others.

Step 2: Honor your creativity

We all  have seeds of success within. It’s just a question of finding our own true measure of success, and then defining  and following a pathway. 

Step 3: Prepare for lag-time

We want immediate results when we start something new. But life isn’t like that. When we start something new, we experience the principle of lag. This means that there is a period of time before action shows results.

Lag can be very frustrating. Because when you start something new, you have a vision of success, and lag means that you may not see that success for a long time. It’s important to welcome lag time, and not to fight against it, because if you do try to overcome lag time by force – you will end up frustrated.

Lag time is useful because it allows us to prepare for the new journey. It gives us time to learn new skills, and make new connections. If feel frustrated about success dragging its heels, think about how you can put the lag-time to good use.

We need to ask ourselves - What skills can you learn now? What connections can you make now that may shape your future?

Once someone start to taste success, it’s important to celebrate. Because the danger is that we get caught up in rising expectations – which means that the success we have may never feel quite enough.

Step 4:  Avoid the ‘moving goalpost’ syndrome

Here’s what happened to me when I started blogging: my goal first goal was to to reach 100 subscribers which am still working on. As a human being When my subscriber count now finally reached 100,  I will be amazed! But actually, I need not to forgot to celebrate, because I will be aiming at shifting the goalposts to 200, or even 500 subscribers.

Has that happened to you too?

Sometimes other people do that to us.  Maybe your boss keeps on shifting the goalposts. If the goal posts keep on shifting, we rob ourselves of satisfaction. That’s why it’s important to define what success is for you so that you can remind yourself and celebrate each milestone on the way.

Step 5: Be determined

Determination can make the difference between success and failure. Most people give up when the going gets tough and with every endeavor, things get tough at times. Have you got enough stickability to keep going? Calvin Coolidge, a President of the USA had something to say about determination:

    Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.
    Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
    Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
    Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
    Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
    ~ Calvin Coolidge (1872 – 1933)

Step 6:  Connect with others

In order to thrive in a new venture, it’s good to make good connections with others in the field. Whether it’s a new hobby you’re taking up, or whether it’s a new business venture – good connections are often the difference between success and failure. You can encourage each other and help each other. Being on that long road to success can feel lonely. If you can gather some friends around you who are on a similar journey, you will feel supported. 

On the Peak, when you finally find success, it can be a heady experience. This is where people can start to lose their integrity. But it’s crucial to keep well grounded when you hit success.

Step 7:  Practice humility

When we taste success it’s easy to forget that we didn’t get there on our own. When you look carefully, you will find many who helped you in small or big ways. Make sure you thank them! And remember to remain modest and humble about whatever you’ve achieved.

Step 8: Make your mistakes with confidence

At this stage of your journey, you know that you’re going in the right direction. Hopefully you’ll still be making mistakes – which means that you are experimenting and learning. Make your mistakes with confidence, knowing that they are necessary for further progress.

Step 9:  Pass on your skillsWhen you’re successful, it’s your responsibility to teach others to do the same. Pass on your secrets, your knowledge and your strategies, and you will enjoy not only your success, but the success of those you mentored.

Step 10: Be a benefactor

Who is going to benefit from your success? Make sure it’s not just you! Once you are successful, you need to start thinking about spreading the benefits of success around. Maybe there someone in your family or friends who needs a hand-up? Or maybe there is a charity you could  sponsor. If you give a good part of what you get away to others, your success will have a new depth of meaning.

Conclusion

If you think of nature, there is no instant growth. You may be able to accelerate growth through using artificial means, such as a hothouse, but the plants that have been forced to grow fast will be a lot more delicate than the ones that have grown at their own organic pace. It’s the same for any venture: organic growth leads to better long-term results.

With a positive can-do attitude, a portion of resilience, and lots of determination, you will be on the way to success. Add to that hard work,  and a willingness to learn, and you have a chance of achieving what you set out to do. Remember that to find success is not a passive undertaking. Be willing to struggle and turn your bones inside out.

Meet good fortune half way.

Kindly share your tips about being successful in the comments!

HAPPINESS IS KEY

How To Be Happy When Things Are Falling Apart

It’s fairly easy to be happy when life is treating you well,  but what about when the hitting the fan, you feel like you have no control and nothing is going your way? how you think and feel about it all is your choice.

You can choose to throw your hands in the air, be a victim and forever proclaim the world to be a bad place, out to get people Or you can choose to ask what lessons the Universe is sending your way.  What lessons have you missed in past experiences that the Universe is now slamming you over the head with?  What lessons do you need to learn?

You can also ask, “What’s great about this?”

The principles below are good when facing divorce, job loss, major financial difficulties, loss of relationships with close family members and other significant crises.

The dramas play out over longer periods of time and are more challenging when other people are involved.

The principles are always the same:

1.     You’re not a victim.  Take responsibility for your life - If “these things” keep happening to you or you keep attracting the same kind of negative people, stop being the kind of person that attracts those kinds of people and circumstances. Find people who seem to be immune to these things, spend time with them, study them and emulate them, then take responsibility for your part in the situation. This does not mean being the martyr and assuming responsibility for everything.  You’re only taking responsibility for your actions.

2.    You can’t control other people or your environment.  Stop trying to control - If other people let you down or don’t do what you expect of them, ask if your expectations are realistic.  If you were the other person, would you appreciate someone writing a script for you and getting mad when you don’t follow it? The only thing you can control 100% is you – your thoughts, feelings and actions.  Focus on that and let the rest go. You can’t control the results or outcome.  You can only do your best and let the Universe handle the rest.

3.    Find the joy in the journey.    * What’s great about what’s happening?
    * What are you learning?
    * How are you better because of what happened?

4.    Smile – even when, or especially when, things aren’t going how you would like - whenever I’m feeling down, the first thing I do is smile a great, big smile for thirty seconds.  It’s hard to feel bad when you’re smiling. If it only helps a little, rinse and repeat as often as it takes. If you’re doing something that seems difficult (mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually), smile and relax your jaw.  The task will become much easier.

5.      Don’t take anything personally - whatever people say and do is all about them, they’re trying to satisfy their own agenda. If they’re upset with you, it’s because you’re not following the script they wrote for you (and forgot to tell you about). If they blame things on you, it’s because they’re not willing to take responsibility for themselves. If they can’t accept you as you are, it’s because of their  own limiting beliefs.

6.       Decide to be happy, no matter what - this doesn’t mean that you should be blissfully happy all the time.  How boring? You need up’s and down’s to keep life exciting. Without challenges, how would you learn and grow? Without negatives, the positives wouldn’t feel as good. Your attitude toward life has everything to do with your feelings about life.  If you have a positive attitude that things will eventually work out for the best and you act on that belief, you can feel good about the situation. You can choose to be happy, regardless of what’s happening around you.

Putting Principles into Practice
I realize that these principles are simple but not always easy to implement. They take practice, in order to fully implement them in your life in a way that results in more happiness, you’ll need to become more mindful, more aware of what’s happening in the moment, without reacting according to your old scripts. With practice, you’ll develop alternative responses.  Sometimes these will help and sometimes they won’t.  Learn from the experience and continue to experiment.

You’ll need to pause in the midst of chaos to take a deep breath and become aware of those old scripts and consciously change them.  At first this might mean simply doing nothing – not reacting, being silent, reflecting in the moment.

Finally, there will never be a point where you’ll always know the perfect thing to say or do that will quickly lead to bliss.  There will always be too many new variables with which you’ll contend. But, with practice, the process of resolving issues and moving away from chaos will become easier.  These principles will guide the way.

Happy viewing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX76LM7bL5o.

THREE STEPS OVERCOMING PROCASTINATION

Understanding d word Procrastination - refers to the act of replacing more urgent actions with tasks less urgent, or doing something from which one derives enjoyment, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time. Also, the pleasure principle may be responsible for procrastination; humans prefer avoiding negative emotions, and delaying a stressful task. The concept that humans work best under pressure provides additional enjoyment and motivation to postponing a task.

20% of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators, for them procrastination is a lifestyle, albeit a maladaptive one. And it cuts across all domains of their life which they don't pay bills on time, miss opportunities for buying tickets to concerts, they don't cash gift certificates or checks, they file income tax returns late, they leave their Christmas shopping until Christmas eve.
It's not trivial, although as a culture we don't take it seriously as a problem. It represents a profound problem of self-regulation, we don't call people on their excuses ("my grandmother died last week") even when we don't believe them.

Procrastination is not a problem of time management or of planning. A Procrastinator is not different in his ability to estimate time, although he/she is more optimistic than others. They are made not born. It is one response to an authoritarian parenting style. Having a harsh, controlling father keeps children from developing the ability to regulate themselves, from internalizing their own intentions and then learning to act on them. Also, they actively look for distractions, particularly ones that don't take a lot of commitment on their part. Checking e-mail is almost perfect for this purpose. They distract themselves as a way of regulating their emotions such as fear of failure.
   
There's more than one flavor of procrastination. People procrastinate for 3 basic different reasons.
* arousal types, or thrill-seekers, who wait to the last minute for the euphoric rush.
* avoiders, who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case are very concerned with what others think   of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability.
* decisional procrastinators, who cannot make a decision. Not making a decision absolves procrastinators of responsibility for the   outcome of events.

Health is one big costs to procastination. Just over the course of a single academic term, procrastinating college students had such evidence of compromised immune systems as more colds and flu, more gastrointestinal problems. And they had insomnia. In addition, it has a high cost to others as well as oneself; it shifts the burden of responsibilities onto others, who become resentful and also destroys teamwork in the workplace and private relationships. They can change their behavior—but doing so consumes a lot of psychic energy. And it doesn't necessarily mean one feels transformed internally. It can be done with highly structured cognitive behavioral therapy.


How to Overcome Procrastination

Follow these steps to deal with and control procrastination:

Step 1: Recognize That You're Procrastinating - If you're honest with yourself, you probably know when you're procrastinating. But to be sure, take our Are You a Procrastinator? self test.

Here are some useful indicators that will help you know when you’re procrastinating:

* Filling your day with low priority tasks from your To Do List.
* Reading e-mails several times without starting work on them or deciding what you’re going to do with them.
* Sitting down to start a high-priority task, and almost immediately going off to make a cup of coffee.
* Leaving an item on your To Do list for a long time, even though you know it's important.
* Regularly saying "Yes" to unimportant tasks that others ask you to do, and filling your time with these instead of getting on with    the important tasks already on your list.
* Waiting for the “right mood” or the “right time” to tackle the important task at hand.

Notes:
Putting off an unimportant task isn't necessarily procrastination: it may just be good prioritization!

Putting off an important task for a short period because you’re feeling particularly tired isn’t necessarily procrastination either, so long as you don’t delay starting the task for more than a day or so, and this is only an occasional event. If you have a genuine good reason for rescheduling something important, then you’re not necessarily procrastinating. But if you’re simply “making an excuse” because you really just don’t want to do it, then you are.

you may be a procrastinator even if you’re confident in your own abilities, energetic, and enjoy achieving things.

Step 2: Work Out WHY You're Procrastinating- Why you procrastinate can depend on both you and the task;

One reason for procrastination is that people find a particular job unpleasant, and try to avoid it because of that. Most jobs have unpleasant or boring aspects to them, and often the best way of dealing with these is to get them over and done with quickly, so that you can focus on the more enjoyable aspects of the job.

Another cause is that people are disorganized. Organized people manage to fend of the temptation to procrastinate, because they will have things like prioritized to-do lists and schedules which emphasize how important the piece work is, and identify precisely when it’s due.

They’ll also have planned how long a task will take to do, and will have worked back from that point to identify when they need to get started in order to avoid it being late. Organized people are also better placed to avoid procrastination, because they know how to break the work down into manageable “next steps”.

Even if you’re organized, you can feel overwhelmed by the task, you may doubt that you have the skills or resources you think you need, so you seek comfort in doing tasks you know you're capable of completing.

Unfortunately, the big task isn't going to go away – truly important tasks rarely do. You may also fear success as much as failure. For example, you may think that success will lead to you being swamped with more requests to do this type of task, or that you’ll be pushed to take on things that you feel are beyond you.

Surprisingly, perfectionists are often procrastinators, as they can tend to think "I don't have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly now, so I won't do it at all."

One final major cause of procrastination is having underdeveloped decision-making skills. If you simply can’t decide what to do, you’re likely to put off taking action in case you do the wrong thing.

Step 3: Adopt Anti-Procrastination Strategies - Procrastination is a habit – a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior. That means that you won’t just break it overnight. Habits only stop being habits when you have persistently stopped practising them, so use as many approaches as possible to maximize your chances of beating procrastination.

Some tips will work better for some people than for others, and for some tasks than others. And, sometimes, you may simply need to try a fresh approach to beat the “procrastination peril”!

These general tips will help motivate you to get moving:

* Make up your own rewards e.g. promise yourself a piece of tasty flapjack at lunchtime if you've completed a certain task and make   sure you notice how good it feels to finish things!

* Ask someone else to check up on you. Peer pressure works! This is the principle behind slimming and other self-help groups, and it   is widely recognized as a highly effective approach.

* Identify the unpleasant consequences of NOT doing the task.
* Work out the cost of your time to your employer. As your employers are paying you to do the things that they think are important,   you're not delivering value for money if you're not doing those things. Shame yourself into getting going!

If you're pocrastinating because you're disorganized, here's how to get organized!

* Keep a To-Do list so that you can’t “conveniently” forget about unpleasant or overwhelming tasks.
* Use an Urgent/Important Matrix to help prioritize your to-do list so that you can’t try to kid yourself that it would be acceptable   to put off doing something on the grounds that it’s unimportant, or that you have many urgent things which ought to be done first   when, in reality, you’re procrastinating.
* Become a master of scheduling and project planning, so that you know when to start those all-important projects.
* Set yourself time-bound goals: that way, you’ll have no time for procrastination!
* Focus on one task at a time.

If you're putting off starting a project because you find it overwhelming, you need to take a different approach. Here are some tips:

* Break the project into a set of smaller, more manageable tasks. You may find it helpful to create an action plan.
* Start with some quick, small tasks if you can, even if these aren't the logical first actions. You'll feel that you're achieving     things, and so perhaps the whole project won't be so overwhelming after all.

If you’re procrastinating because you find the task unpleasant:

* Many procrastinators overestimate the unpleasantness of a task. So give it a try! You may find that it’s not as bad as you thought!
* Hold the unpleasant consequences of not doing the work at the front of your mind.
* Reward yourself for doing the task.

Finally, if you’re procrastinating because you can’t decide what action to take, and are putting off making a decision because you’re nervous about making the wrong choice, see our decision-making section. This teaches a range of powerful and effective decision-making techniques.

Remember: the longer you can spend without procrastinating, the greater your chances of breaking this destructive habit for good!
Key Points

To have a good chance of conquering procrastination, you need to spot straight away that you're doing it. Then, you need to identify why you're procrastinating and taken appropriate steps to overcome the block.

Part of the solution is to develop good time management, organizational and personal effectiveness habits, such as those described in Make Time for Success! This helps you establish the right priorities, and manage your time in such a way that you make the most of the opportunities open to you.